Chapter 3

Q’n’A’n’Q; or, They sought to pierce the boundaries between their souls.

Shinji awoke to Rei lightly shaking her, head craned over her face. It was still dark outside, and the clock read 3:04am. This wasn’t the time to be waking up.

“What’s wrong?” Shinji whispered, barely conscious enough to speak.

“You were asking for help and thrashing about in your sleep,” explained Rei, straight-faced as usual. “I thought this would help.”

Shinji looked at herself. She had drenched through her pyjamas with sweat, and her chest was beating up and down as her heart raced. She was having those dreams again.

“Oh, was I?” Shinji asked in the most clueless voice she could muster. “I must’ve had a really bad nightmare, haha…”

Rei was still hovering above her. “I apologise for waking you up.”

“No, it’s okay!” Shinji said in the loudest voice she could whilst remaining quiet. “I appreciate your help. It should be me apologising for waking you up in the middle of the night.”

The room was silent again as Rei returned to her futon. Shinji wasn’t sure if she had registered her apology.

“Goodnight, Shinji.”

“Goodnight, Rei.”

Shinji continued to lay awake as she stared at the ceiling, steadying her breathing. She could never remember what went on in those dreams – just that they often led to her mother rushing into the room and making sure she was okay, and that they left a general feeling of dread in her stomach for days that followed. She wondered if it was worth the risk of returning to that nightmare by going back to sleep.

Eventually, the rising sun bled through her window, meeting with her still-open eyes.


The school hallways fell silent as yesterday's topic of discussion walked through the doors. Shinji could feel a million eyes piercing through her skin, trying to break her down – students of other grades drawing their own conclusions from what they saw of the "Wondergirl" Ikari. It didn't help that the already enigmatic Rei was the one walking beside her, her consistently neutral face and uniform mismatch leading her to stand out like a sore thumb.

"Can you walk a bit faster?" Shinji spoke through gritted teeth to Rei, wanting to get to class but not wanting to leave her behind.

Rei quickly outpaced her, entering an almost run state that drew the stares away from Shinji. She was relieved people weren't paying attention to her for a second, but felt second-hand embarrassment watching Rei scuttle along as fast as her legs could take her. Shinji started speed walking in an attempt to catch up, before a familiar arm stopped her in her tracks.

Oh mein Gott Shinji!” cried Asuka with great dramatics. “You’re still pulling this act after yesterday?”

Shinji stood wordlessly, doing the best she could to not acknowledge the red-haired menace harassing her.

“You know, it’s rude to ignore your best friend,” Asuka jeered, “especially when she’s just trying to help you out! Unless of course, you know, you hate me now, which would be a real shame…”

Shinji kept looking away, noticing that all eyes had returned to her direction. She began considering if she should’ve run along with Rei. At least that would’ve been less embarrassing than this, she told herself as she played it out in her head.

“Between you and me, Shinji,” Asuka continued, lowering her voice as she moved her face closer to Shinji’s ear, “that newbie girl is a robot, not a person. And if that’s the only thing you have to justify your… position, maybe you should reconsider.

“Your standards have really dropped if all you’ve got to talk to is a machine that spits out nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers!” Asuka shouted, followed by a laugh as she began to walk away.

Shinji stood frozen in place, trying to process what had just happened when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She turned around, where she found that class rep Hikari had entered her range of vision.

“Are you all good, Shinji?” she asked, concern bleeding through her eyes.

“I’m– I’m fine,” Shinji stuttered out in response.

“Well,” Hikari began projecting her voice so the hallway could hear, “as your class representative, I’ve gotta make sure that all my fellow classmates are safe and happy! So, if you ever have any trouble with anyone or anything, especially her, make sure to let me know! I’ll make sure it’s dealt with.”

A smirk had formed on Hikari’s face as she made her announcement, which had caused the hallway’s population to return to their travels. Despite her small build, the sternness in her voice was enough to commandeer them.

As the crowds dispersed, she could spot Asuka up the hallway, who’d stopped by the 2-A door the moment she heard Hikari making her speech. A visible rage was building behind Asuka’s eyes as she stared her down before entering the classroom. Hikari hoped that it would deter her from harassing her at lunch again.

“Thanks… but did you need to be that loud?” Shinji asked, breaking her silence.

“Hey, just doing my part as class rep!” Hikari replied with a giggle. “Anyways, I am being serious here – I’ve got your back, and the new girl’s too. As much as I don’t wanna drag your mood down, you’re probably gonna need it.”

“Not really much further you can pull me,” Shinji quipped in response, her face breaking into a smile.

“Exactly.” Hikari said, before the two shared a mutual nod as they walked together to their class.

Rei was sitting in her spot from the previous day, while to Shinji’s great relief Asuka had chosen a different spot to sit – unfortunately for Hikari, the spot in question was her’s. Asuka smirked once again at the duo, as if this had earned her the upper hand; Hikari rolled her eyes before sitting in the back corner next to Shinji.

Toji and Kensuke were the last students to walk into the room, making it past the door frame as the clock read less than a minute until class officially started. Shinji avoided making eye contact with them, although Kensuke waved at her anyways. Hot on their trail was Misato, who managed to walk through the door the exact moment the minute hand ticked over.

Unlike the day prior, the day’s lesson started with zero shouting and not a single insult sparred. Shinji managed to begin her work, before realising Rei was once again staring towards the front of the class, completely unmoving.

“Are you good Rei?” Shinji said as she leant over to her right.

“Yes,” Rei replied bluntly.

“Then why aren’t you writing anything?”

“I do not have anything to write with.”

Shinji gave her an odd look. “Did you not bring your school stuff?”

Rei returned an odd look, however she bore no response. She didn’t have anything for school. Shinji, realising Rei’s predicament, scoured her bag for a spare pen before ripping a handful of pages out of her notebook and passing them over. Rei nodded blankly at Shinji before grabbing them out of her hand, quickly scribbling down everything written on the chalkboard as soon as they hit the desk.

The rest of the lesson went by quite quickly, with the lunch bell signalling their freedom. Rei got up as soon as it rang, with Shinji following her out shortly after; Hikari’s eyes tracked Toji and Kensuke trailing them closely. She watched as most of the class flooded out the doors, hoping that as the crowd scattered she’d find that Asuka had left the room. Asuka seemed to have other ideas, as she sat stubbornly, grabbing her lunch box out of her bag. Hikari, not wanting to deal with her, chose to stay stuck in the back corner, and she too grabbed out her lunch box. This brief peace, however, was quickly disrupted by Asuka turning around once the room was near-empty.

“What was that about?!” she cried, a clear annoyance in her voice.

Hikari began to eat her food, ignoring Asuka.

“Don’t tell me you’re a part of the silent club with Wondergirl, Miss Class Rep!” Asuka continued on, to no avail. Hikari continued eating her lunch while not acknowledging the rant aimed towards her.

For the second day in a row, class 2-A was subjected to the sound of metal grinding against the wooden floorboards as Asuka raised from her chair to head over to Hikari. She slammed her hands onto Hikari’s desk, sending her lunch box for a short flight before it crashed back down, spilling bits of rice everywhere.

Hikari Horaki, holding chopsticks in front of her lunch box. Rice is spilled all over the table.

“Is this how you get your kicks?” berated Hikari, with her eyes ready to roll out of her head.

“Says the one making a whole scene about me in the hallway!” countered Asuka.

“Says the one terrorising Shinji while she tried walking to class,” Hikari rebuked, maintaining her calm tone of voice.

“I was simply trying to help… her… out!”

“By mocking her and then telling her new friend is weird?”

“You said it, not me!”

“Don’t act like I’m not paraphrasing you here.”

“I simply called her a robot. Which she totally is.”

Hikari looked thoroughly unimpressed with Asuka, whose face bore an incredibly smug smirk. As far as she was concerned, she was winning this one-sided war of words.

“What even is your problem with Shinji anyways? I thought you two were best friends since, what, childhood?”

Asuka’s smirk quickly dropped into a frown. She didn’t like where this talk was headed. Still, she had a reputation to maintain, and she wasn’t gonna let Hikari get to her that easily.

“ME?! Best friends with that freak?” Asuka shouted as she stanced herself with her hands on her hips, her mouth returning to a smirk. “I just let her follow me around!”

“You seem to have very strong feelings on her and what she’s doing, in that case. Pretty obsessed with someone who’s apparently not your friend.”

The smirk vanished once again. She couldn’t even argue against this one. Instead, she silently took the seat next to Hikari, dragging the metal legs along as usual. The two didn’t acknowledge each other for the rest of lunch.

Verdammt,” Asuka muttered under her breath, defeated.


A warm breeze swept through Shinji’s hair as she sat against the mesh fence, picking at her food. She had let Rei guide her to where they would spend their break time; she shouldn’t have been as surprised when Rei chose the one place she had spent her singular lunch break at.

Shinji’s mother had kindly prepared both of their lunches, this time keeping Rei’s dietary choices in mind. However, Yui didn’t have much experience making meals while avoiding meat entirely, so Rei’s lunch box consisted of salad stuffs alongside some plain rice. She didn’t seem to mind, and was quietly scoffing away the contents with no complaints. Shinji, despite typically liking her mother’s cooking, wasn’t hungry after the events of that morning. She tried to get it down anyway, because she knew she’d feel worse without it, but she was struggling to do so.

Two familiarly shaped shadows creeped over Rei and Shinji. Shinji looked up to find Kensuke and Toji stood over her. Toji was avoiding meeting her gaze, but Kensuke looked more than happy to see her.

“Heya Shin!” greeted Kensuke with a grin. “Is it cool if we sit here with you?”

“Uhhh…” Shinji’s eyes trailed away from Kensuke. “If you want to, I guess?”

Kensuke quickly plopped himself down on Shinji’s unflanked side, followed by a cross-armed Toji slowly slumping down the fence. Rei kept eating her lunch uninterrupted, almost as if she hadn’t taken notice.

“Sooooooooooo…” began Kensuke, drawing out the word as if it would soften what would come next. “Those questions! You remember I had questions for you right, Shin?”

“You never told me what those questions were,” Shinji responded, continuing to pick at her lunch.

“Well, uh, is it all good if I ask them now?”

Shinji stopped picking at her food before looking Kensuke deep in the eyes. “What sort of questions were they?”

“Ah!” Kensuke laughed, embarrassed that he’d need to elaborate. “They were questions about… your… you know… you–”

“Me being a girl.”

“Yeah, that…” Kensuke whispered, his face going a shade of pink.

“I figured as much.”

“Well I was wondering how you, uh, figured it out.”

Shinji furrowed her brow. “Are you looking for advice?”

“NO!” Kensuke shouted, leaping back a little as his face went deep crimson. “I promise I’m just really interested because you’re my friend and I– I’ve never met a transgender person before! It’s all in the pursuit of knowledge!”

“Okay…” drawled Shinji as she scratched her head. “Well, there wasn’t really a thing that made me figure it out, y’know? There were just moments here and there and then eventually I just… had to say it to someone. I had to speak my truth, and I’m just lucky mother was supportive…”

Shinji realised once she had finished speaking that Kensuke had pulled out a notebook to jot this all down. He really was serious about this.

“Second question!” Kensuke said in his most authoritative voice, pushing his glasses up. “Do you still stand up to pee?”

“What?” A disoriented Shinji cried, caught off guard by the whiplash between the first and second questions. “How does that even matter?!”

“Well–” Kensuke started to speak before Toji suddenly pushed him aside.

“WHAT’S WITH THE GIRL DRESS HUH?!” Toji aggressively shouted, causing Shinji to jump back in fright.

“Toji!” scolded an annoyed Kensuke, pushing Toji back. “Your questions were for afterwards!”

“Yer questions are stupid!” retorted Toji. “My sister looks up to Shinj, and she won’t stop askin’ me questions about ‘im! Where’s Shinji! How’s he doin’! I keep tellin’ her I don’t know I haven’t seen ‘im but I can’t keep lyin’ to her! She knows somethin’s up! But I can’t just tell ‘er he’s in a girl’s dress now aye! It’ll break ‘er heart that’s what it’ll do!”

Shinji’s eyes began to well up with tears. She quickly got off the ground and walked away as fast as she could, leaving her stuff behind.

“Wait a minute! I still have more questions!” exclaimed Kensuke, to no avail.

“Hey new girl, can’t ya talk to ‘im?” asked Toji as he looked towards the still sitting Rei.

Rei grabbed both her lunch box and Shinji’s before neatly packing them up into her bag, ignoring Toji’s request. She picked herself up off the floor, before silently walking away to go find Shinji. Kensuke whacked Toji over the head as hard as he could.

“OW! What was that about!” he yelped, rubbing his hand on his freshly forming bruise.

“You’re a fucking moron, Toji.”